it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
