Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
