The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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