but the lizard people decide everything anyway
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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