Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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