bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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