Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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