i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
