Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
