quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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