Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
