apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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