I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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