College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
