Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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