The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
