Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
