More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
