I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
