The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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