I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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