So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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