there's paper in my vomit.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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