it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize