she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
