How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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