i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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