We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Boobs are out for the taking
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize