Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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