Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
