I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize