My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
