yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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