Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
