NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
