We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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