you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
