i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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