last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
