How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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