Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
