Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
