How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
