I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
