3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
