I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
