When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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