I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
