Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
