I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
