If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
