What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
