i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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