lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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