doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
